The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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