Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
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