dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Randomize
