Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
