I feel great
I just peed on a car
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
She has the best kind of daddy issues
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
