so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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