pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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