D3 body, D1 cock
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
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