I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
