She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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