Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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