only if we run a train.
done.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize