Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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