I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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