considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
