they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
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