This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
