She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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