All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
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just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
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the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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