Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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