i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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