I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
i barfeds in our rink
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
