if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
