Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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