You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
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