I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
