I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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