thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
