Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize
