can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize