ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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