SEEEEXXX PLEASE
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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