READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
