talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
