he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize