A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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