I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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