Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
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