I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
