Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably