i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it