Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
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I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch