Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
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Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
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Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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