Will you blow on my dice?
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
