his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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