: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
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