Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
