So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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