I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
