I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
