Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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