I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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