Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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