He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
