Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
