Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
