you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
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