They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
