you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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