Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
