hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
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